Whenever we go through traumatic experiences in life, which may be physical, mental or emotional abuse, discord in personal or professional relationships, financial challenges, loss of loved ones or any other experience that wounds us deeply, we are often told- Give time, Time Heals Everything! But, is this statement true in your experience? Do issues really get healed over time? Does time alone has the power to heal anything and everything? If yes, how does time heal anything?
While growing up I keenly observed people and families around me and based on what I saw I was of a firm opinion that time does not heal anything. I saw relationship problems between people, issues within a family, ailments of people, diseases, addictions of a person, toxic behaviors remained same. In fact some issues became worse with time, addictions got people in their control even more, diseases and ailments persisted even with treatment. Families in which finances were thought to be the cause of discord, even with improvement of financial condition the discord persists, so nothing healed with time! The only thing positive about time was that, the pain associated with a particular trauma seems to diminish with passage of time. But does this mean we have healed? The answer is NO..... Just observe the pain and emotions that come up, out of nowhere when you talk about the trauma with a friend or a therapist. Notice, are you ok talking about it or you avoid any talk related to it.
True Healing neutralizes the emotional charge associated with the memory of a traumatic event. You become at peace with whatever happened and are able to move on in life, free from the entanglements of your psyche with that event. You definitely need time to achieve this state, but time alone by itself cannot do this for you. Time only gives you time, an opportunity to adjust to the consequences of what happened. Most people use it to just get used to the issues being around, focus their attention on something else, numb themselves, repress , suppress and denying their emotions and pain. As time passes we become champions in this work and try to fool ourselves and others that we are healed and that the issue doesn’t matter to us. We are able to ignore the issue and go about our day to day activities without actually thinking about the trauma. We start living in a state of denial about the existence of our issues and the intensity of our pain. Denial is also a stage of healing but you can remain stuck in it for your entire life, irrespective of the time passed since the trauma. So.... what brings about healing?
TIME + WHAT YOU DO IN THAT TIME = RESULT OF TRAUMA
Importance of time in healing
If a person goes through repeated traumas without getting time to recover and regain balance, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible for him to heal in that time period. So, getting time to take care of one’s wounds is vital for any healing to take place. But, once you get that time to take care of yourself, what you choose to do in that time is the deciding factor for your healing. For example:
If you were betrayed by a close friend/ business partner/ lover and the betrayal had devastated you, it shook you to the core, you felt you could not continue with life anymore but your responsibilities kept you going and you got time to rebuild your life. In this time you can choose to forgive/ curse/ plan a revenge/ stay stuck in pain and suffering etc. Based on what you choose to do in the time after the trauma will decide whether you will heal or further complicate your wound.
Similarly, if you have a disease- healing will occur with time only if you make healthy choices like going to doctor, taking required medicines regularly, avoiding the foods that are not good for you, exercising etc. If you choose to neglect your wounds or not take medicines, not follow the advices given, or indulge in habits that will be harmful, you will not heal, on the contrary your condition will deteriorate with time.
My Message
With this note I gently nudge you to – Take out time to take care of yourself, address your issues, make healthy choices and take proper steps to heal and not just leave everything on time alone. Participate in your own healing- The doctor, medicines and your body cannot do it alone! Take charge of your health and wellbeing. Begin your self healing journey, allow yourself time, be kind and patient with yourself. When you make the right choices and do all that is required to bring about positive changes, rest assured its just a matter of time when you will get the cure. It took me 6 years to recover from severe generalized fibromyalgia but I got the cure! May you have the courage, strength and wisdom to keep moving forward on the path of healing and achieve your cure.
PEACE, LOVE, LIGHT & AWARENESS TO ALL!
Dr. Jyotika Gupta
Holistic Doctor
