Essence of a human being is pure love! Simply stated this means that the substance we all are made up of is LOVE. We often understand It as an emotion or feeling or something to give and receive. However, in truth love is a state of being, it is the true nature of a human being. YOU ARE LOVEat your core! The basic need of a human being is not just to be loved but also to love someone. This arises from the deep longing of mystical union with our own core- Divine Love, Being It and sharing it with everyone.
“Love is our deepest longing. Just as the body needs food, the soul needs love- It is nourishment, spiritual nourishment. Without food, air and water the body will deteriorate; without love the soul starts shrinking” – Osho
Is there lack of love ?
Have you ever found yourself in a state where you KNOW someone loves you but you CANT FEEL it or feel lack of love or unloved?
Have you ever wondered why the people you love soo much are always complaining about you not loving them enough or not at all?
Have you ever tried to understand why relationships fail, become a mess and cause soo... much pain and suffering, despite people having immense love for each other?
Do you feel unloved or lack of love in your world?
The truth is we are immersed in an ocean of cosmic love; it is freely available to all of us in abundance, unconditionally, without any judgements and criteria to deserve it. With every breath we are taking in cosmic love and nourishing our soul. Inspite of this, most of the people across the world feel a lack of love. Why is it so?
Why we dont feel love?
This is because we recognize love only when it comes to us in a form that we know or have experienced in past, specially as children. Depending upon how our parents expressed their love to us as a child, we develop our language of love. We start expressing our love to others in that language and recognise love from others only when it is conveyed in our language.
Soo many issues in love and relationships are caused because we keep expressing our love in our language, which may or maynot be the language in which the other person recognizes love. Also, when love is conveyed to us in a language that we do not understand we feel rejected and unloved. Your love language may not be the same as that of people around you- whether your spouse, children, parent, sibling, boss, employee, etc. So you both maybe saying “I LOVE YOU” to each other daily but in your own languages which are not understood by the other person and both of you feel unloved.
How to express and feel love?
Everyone has their own primary and secondary love languages. To feel loved by others and to express your love to others successfully, you need to be aware of your own and your partner’s language of love. To convey your love you need to speak in your partners love language and to feel loved you need to help your partner learn to speak in your love language. Soo Simple !
This concept of love languages was developed by Dr Gary Chapman. According to him, there are five love languages.
1) Words of Affirmation: Listening words of appreciation, love, care, acknowledgement
makes the person feel loved. So, in this case Saying 'I LOVE YOU' to them is a must!
2) Gifts: Receiving gifts from loved ones makes the person feel loved, no matter how big or small the gift is and whatever the price. These gifts are like tokens of love, which they value and preserve for years even lifetime.
3) Physical touch: Being physically touched with love, kindness and care will make the person feel loved- this could be a hug, handshake, pat on back, gentle touch, holding hands, sex, massage etc
4) Quality time: Spending quality time with other person translates into love- Could be travel, going out for dinner, having tea or coffee together, watchng movie, doing something together, having deep talks or just being together doing nothing
5) Act of service: When someone does any act of service- recognizes and takes care of needs and requirements, shares responsibility, helps out in different ways, contributes in work, daily chores, life purpose, makes life easy, helps in creating greater etc the person feels loved.
The Message
Just having love for someone is not enough. To create great, fulfilling, nurturing relationships overflowing with love, You have to learn to express and receive love in all its forms. Do not give too much importance on just saying the 3 magical words “I love you” because in case your partner’s love language is not words of affirmation, then the words will not mean anything to them. If you are planning to propose, express your love, make your person feel loved and you dont know their love language, you can increase your chances of success by making efforts to express your love in all the five forms. Something will touch their heart deeply and make them feel your love.
PEACE, LOVE, LIGHT AND AWARENESS BLISS JOY TO ALL!
Dr. Jyotika Gupta
Holistic Doctor
