We all use mirrors in everyday life... What is their purpose? Most commonly we use them for looking at ourselves, correcting our flaws, preparing ourselves to look our best, appreciating our beauty. They help us to become aware of those parts of us that we are not able to see or appreciate directly by ourselves. Life also offers us mirrors to become aware of ourselves.
Reflection in the Mirror
Sometimes looking in the mirror makes us feel happy sometimes sad, sometimes confidant sometimes low, sometimes peaceful sometimes irritated, sometimes fearful sometimes relaxed. The point to note here is that, the mirror is just showing our reflection neutrally. It has no judgement of us. So it is not the mirror that is making us feel in a particular way. It is the reflection of ourselves in the mirror that we are responding to. If we don’t like what we see in the mirror we need to work on ourselves and not on the mirror, for example: if your face in the mirror is dirty you need to wash your face and not the mirror. Avoiding looking in the mirror or breaking the mirror will not serve the purpose.
You must be thinking- I know all this, what is it that the author is trying to get to?
Well... I just want to tell you that the people in our life are also like mirrors!
As they come in our life, some aspect of us gets reflected in them and we react or respond to our own reflection in that person. If we like what we see in that person the relationship looks good. If we don’t like what we see in that person the relationship becomes troublesome and we either try to change the other person which is same as cleaning the mirror instead of your own face OR we avoid interacting with the person which is like avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror that doesn’t do anything for you OR we break the relationship which is same as breaking the mirror for what it is showing. None of these responses create anything greater for you, the other person or your relationship.
“What irritates you about another person can lead you to understand yourself “
- Carl Jung
“All relationships are gifts of the spirit serving as external forces acting upon
you to cause change” - Julie Hutslar
Healing Learning Growing with Mirrors in life
What does this mean?
How can I use this awareness to make my life and relationships better?
Exercise: Try this out step wise to get a glimpse of the answer
1. Think of a person with whom you get really irritated / angry
2. Now figure out what exactly is it about the person that irritates you / makes you angry
3. Now look within yourself, where in life are you behaving in the same way?
In truth you are irritated / angry with this part of yourself which is merely getting reflected in that person.
4. Now take charge of your life and do something to heal that part of you- As you heal it, you will find that you no longer get irritated / angry with that person.
For Example: If you constantly get irritated and angry with your staff- Find out what about them irritates you? It could be that they don’t do their work properly / they don’t obey your orders / they don’t have any sense of responsibility etc... Then you need to look within yourself and find out where in life you are not doing your work properly/ not obeying the authoritative figures in your life/ where are you not showing sense of responsibility?
As you discover this within you and realize that you are actually irritated by this part of yourself and not the person. He is just mirroring that part of you, for you to see and heal it. When you work on this unhealed part of yourself, you will experience peace within you and with that person. There will be a positive shift in your relationship and interactions. Even the awareness of that part in you brings significant relief and positive changes in behaviour. You may require time to completely accept and heal that part of yourself. So be patient and kind with yourself in the process.
THE MESSAGE
People in your life are just like mirrors helping you become aware of, heal and integrate the broken unhealed parts of your personality that you have harshly judged, rejected, abandoned and separated from yourself. These parts of your personality are waiting for you to embrace them with love, kindness, compassion and integrate them with you, becoming whole again.
VALUE THE MIRRORS IN YOUR LIFE!
PEACE, LOVE, LIGHT, AWARENESS, BLISS, JOY TO ALL!
Dr. Jyotika Gupta
Holistic Doctor
